From the Valley of Weeping

by Mrs. Denise Brass

I’ve been realizing how much time I can spend here[at my blog] or face book that really takes away from my boys. So I’ve been spending way less time on things non-eternal and trying to direct my time towards things that are going to matter for eternity and not just burn when they are put through God’s fire. 1 Cor 3:13-15.

13 But each one’s work will be shown for what it is; the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire – the fire will test the quality of each one’s work. 14 If the work someone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward; 15 if it is burned up, he will have to bear the loss: he will still escape with his life, but it will be like escaping through a fire.
~CJB by David Stern

I was talking with my sister tonight about just that, about giving an account for what we did with our time, our life, and I said that God’s going to want to know what we did with our families- our children. Contrary to what most congregations will say while they are trying to get you to serve in a multitude of their “ministries”, our first ministry is our husbands and then our children and we should never be so busy serving in a building or even our community that our own family suffers or is lacking our quality time.

No matter how good it looks, God’s going to have some words with us if we put serving outside our family above serving our family. Our home is our number 1 mission field, it should be our top priority and is our training ground. That’s where we learn to deny ourselves and pick up our cross and follow Messiah. Yes visiting the sick and bringing a meal to someone feels way better than the daily grind of our family life but lets be honest, is that really denying yourself and carrying our cross??? I don’t think so. Some of you may know this story but some time ago while I was changing a really bad poopy diaper, having a complaining attitude, I was talking to the Lord and asking Him how He was going to use me where would I be serving… I’m thinking leading people to Him, laying hands on the sick etc.. He said to me- what if this is what I want you to do? Meaning change the poopy diaper and raise up these kids. You know my answer was- I’m not really gonna like that! Just being honest.

It’s not easy to stay at home loving your husband and raising your children, not to mention the world sees no value in it and it certainly doesn’t feel as good as those other things BUT God says to do it. So that’s what iv been working on and not just doing it but doing it with joy. Having joy is a choice and I’m trying to delight in my crazy boys and sincerely listen to them (they can tell when your acting), rub their backs, kiss their heads and be together in life with them, see them as a blessing like God says and not an imposition on my life. And I make it a point throughout the day to tell them I love them and build them up with some encouraging words. That’s not always easy especially when they’re acting up and driving me crazy but you know, someday I will be gone and all they’ll have left is memories of how I was with them, how I treated them, did I have time for them or was I always putting them off. And you know, they’re going to treat their children like we have treated them which also puts a different perspective on things. But I want to make sweet simple memories with them of cuddling in the bed telling stories, playing board games- even video games, making brownies with me on the counter. I want them to know to the core of their soul that I love them. The things we do now- all those little things- matter.

I’ve noticed with 2 of my boys lately that they will have moments of almost frantically needing to do a specific thing that they use to do with their dad because it makes them feel connected to him. For Ben it was that he needed to see pictures of him with his dad. For Isaiah it’s been needing to see a certain video that they use to watch together in George’s truck when he would take them places. Little every day things that you don’t even realize, mean so much. Choose joy, delight in their little faces, delight in your husbands face as well, make sweet memories, love love love them!

PS. I miss him!!!

Mrs. Brass

Mrs. Denise Brass is the loving wife of George, who passed on to eternity in November 2009, leaving her and their four boys missing him and longing to meet with him again. As a widow, Mrs. Brass appreciates your support both on her blog and through Gleaning the Harvest. You can read her bio on Gleaning the Harvest and her heart at her blog, Passing Through the Valley of Weeping.

Welcome, Mrs. Lizzie Norris, to GTH

We are happy to add the “Norris” family to our Gleaning the Harvest families. Mrs. Norris is the husband of Lee and the mother of James. You might wonder why we are adding a married mom to our widowed and fatherless families, and the reason is quite simple: Lizzie Norris is living as a single mom, while her husband is incarcerated.

Amanda received an email a week ago, asking if we ever support moms whose husbands are incarcerated, and she forwarded it to me. It was not from Lizzie, but someone who knew of her story. When we started working out GTH in our heads and on this site, there were many scenarios played out as we worked and discussed the mission we would have. Wives of incarcerated husbands didn’t enter our minds. This was a new avenue for us to consider. Of course she is in need, but she is not widowed, and her son is not really fatherless. But presently, the family is fatherless. Perhaps that is why Deuteronomy instructs us to leave some to glean for the fatherless, the widows and the stranger. Perhaps the lines aren’t clear cut.

Deuteronomy 24:17-22
17Thou shalt not pervert the judgment of the stranger, nor of the fatherless; nor take a widow’s raiment to pledge:18But thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in Egypt, and the LORD thy God redeemed thee thence: therefore I command thee to do this thing.
19When thou cuttest down thine harvest in thy field, and hast forgot a sheaf in the field, thou shalt not go again to fetch it: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow: that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all the work of thine hands. 20When thou beatest thine olive tree, thou shalt not go over the boughs again: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow. 21When thou gatherest the grapes of thy vineyard, thou shalt not glean it afterward: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow.
22And thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in the land of Egypt: therefore I command thee to do this thing.

I personally spent several hours on Lizzie’s blog, A Dusty Frame. It is a very open window to the lives of the Norris family. My heart was touched as I read all that Lizzie has written and expressed in the past three years of this part of their lives.

Lizzie Norris is not her real name. It is a pseudonym. Neither is her husband’s name really Lee, but their lives are very real. I feel it is important to state that up front. We know this because Lizzie gave us all the info we need, including the cell phone of her pastor. Her pastor is very well-acquainted with Lizzie and Lee. Their pastor has gone through Lee’s jail time and his incarceration with him personally. In speaking to him, he let me know that Lizzie and Lee are both members of his church, and he asked that we pray for Lee as his brothers and sisters in Christ that he may overcome things in his life that he struggles with. The Norris family is well-loved in their small church, and their pastor explained that they are helping her as much as a small church can. I don’t know about you, but I am so thrilled with that.

You can get to know Mrs. Lizzie Norris and her life as a married single mom on her blog, A Dusty Frame. On it, you can read about how Lee is in prison and all they have gone through in the past two years. You can read about James, with whom Lizzie is staying home to love and educate. You can read her daily struggles as a wife and as a mom in a very difficult situation. I am thrilled that Lizzie wants to stay home and keep James in her care.

To support Lizzie, you will find the Norris’s Family page and ChipIn here: http://gleaningtheharvest.com/?p=473

May the LORD bless you as you seek to support the families on Gleaning the Harvest.

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