How To Help A Single Mom Part 2
March 2, 2009 by Jacque
Filed under Single Mothering
~Originally posted at A Dusty Frame~
Today at the store I was thinking of some other things I wanted to add to this post.
So here goes.
1. These are ideas. Sort of like brainstorming. Please don’t take them as gospel or think you must do them all. I was only trying to give you some ideas to show you how easy it is to bless someone’s heart.
2. Many of these do apply to single dads. I meant to mention it and forgot. (Since I don’t happen to be one.)
Some more ideas
*If she has a boy, invite her son to do things with your husband and your boys.
This summer my son played tee ball on the rec department’s league. My heart sunk when I realized all the other little boys knew how to catch a ball in their gloves and my little over achiever was working his heart out trying to catch his.
I just never thought to teach him that. That is a daddy thing. He did fine in tee ball. My point is there are simply things that moms don’t even think about. A man or even older teen age boy could tremendously bless a younger boy.
*If she owns any type of business that you can frequent, send your business there.
Tell your friends too. Many single moms that I am reading about on the blogosphere do computer work (graphics, internet sites, typing), some do child care, tutoring, private lessons, own a store. So if you need something her business offers please support her.
*Don’t offer to do something unless you intend to follow through.
I have had people tell me they will do “xyz” or “I’m going to bring something over for you” and it never happens. Or when I thought their offer was something I was to count on, I found it it was only good intentions.
Now I promise you I am not whining or complaining. If you were in my living room I could look you in the eye and say that. I didn’t ask for these things. They were offered.
Asking for help is really difficult for me. So when I went to take them up on the offer and found out they didn’t “really” mean it I felt completely stupid. I wonder if offering made them feel better about themselves so they just said things without thinking?
I don’t know. I just know that I heavily counted on some of the offers BECAUSE they were offered to me unsolicited. Dealing with the disappointment that came would have never occurred if only the good intentions had not been spoken. (There is however a blog post in that lesson when I get around to typing it up.)
Good intentions do not pay bills.
There are some really great ideas in the comments section of Part 1. Take a peek. Thanks to everyone for your input and ideas.
Lizzie Norris is a married mom of one little boy, living as a single mom while her husband is incarcerated. Through the difficulties, she is learning to trust God and His WORD. Lizie blogs encouragement, transparency and love at A Dusty Frame. You can support Lizzie through the ChipIn on her GTH page and also through her Etsy shop, A Dusty Attic.
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One of the things that I found the worst when I was a single mother was that I was often tied to the house – either because of a lack of money to drive somewhere, or because I had small children who I couldn’t just haul around any time of the night or day, or because I HAD nowhere to go… And I used to go CRAZY for adult companionship and adult conversation (I couldn’t always afford to make phonecalls either). I wished I had friends who would call around even for just awhile or friends who would ask me to come over for a meal and some fellowship. Single mothers often crave companionship and conversation with someone other than their child(ren).
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You are very welcome:) I’m thankful to be able to share them. Also my sister had a lot of input!
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Lizzie, you sure get to the heart of things. My two girls are very male deprived…My Dad tries to fill that hole, but he’s not home much (a truck driver) and he has other grandchildren vieing for his attention. My girls want so much to have a male person to play ball with, soccer, or to do something else with. I think it’s important even for girls to have male role models (not sure that’s exactly the right term, but hopefully you know what I mean).
Thanks so much for writing these articles! They have been a wonderful blessing to me!
Blessings to you!
Vicki
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My New Mom (before she married my father) was a single mother of 7 (widowed) , she found great relief in my taking the children to the movies every two weeks. I would take the children out for dinner afterwards , and she would have time to go out with my father for dinner , a walk in the park , and to sometimes just rest.
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